WHY YOU GOTTA BE SO MEAN?
The Hardest Thing About Being a Writer, According to Me
By GINA DETWILER
People sometimes ask me: what’s the toughest thing about being a writer?
It’s not the writing itself. That’s mostly fun. And when it isn’t fun, it’s at least interesting and challenging. Publishing is harder. No one likes coping with rejection on a daily basis. Publishing is like being a surfer, sitting out there on the board, treading water, hoping that next wave is going to be the ONE. It might be a long wait, but that wave, when it comes, is worth it.
No, the hardest thing, the absolutely worst thing, the thing that makes me want to quit writing and become a plumber, is…
Wait for it…
One star reviews.
I don’t mind the critical reviews. They can be quite thoughtful and helpful. But the one-stars are just plain mean. I mean, MEAN. The one-stars are the bullies on the playground. The haters. The trolls who prowl the internet searching for someone to destroy just for the fun of it.
Well, maybe I’m generalizing. And I’m being over-sensitive. Probably. But still. This is how I feel. When I see a one-star review on one of my books, my day is ruined. I’m so distraught I need to take a Xanax and go to the mall.
I published a book a few years back called Hammer of God. I worked on that book for over twenty years. It was my heart and soul. It had some reviews, mostly positive or at least thoughtful. But there’s a couple of doozies. One of the one-star reviews consisted of a single word: “Boring.”
All those years of work, of sweat and tears, of dreaming and hoping. Of countless hours spent in the library (before the internet) researching. Trying to get it right.
Slayed by a single word.
Yeah. That hurts.
I go through the whole mantra every time: I’m a bad writer. I suck. I need to quit writing and be a plumber. At least then I would serve a useful purpose in the world.
And then I want to write to those mean reviewers and say, “You’re wrong! You’re so wrong! Did you even read it?”
Being a writer goes hand in hand with insecurity. We never know if we’re any good. We’re genuinely amazed when someone likes something we’ve written and thrust into a pit of despair when they don’t.
It helps to know I’m not alone. Famous authors have gotten plenty of scathing reviews too. Here’s a few examples:
Lolita by Vladimir Nabokov: “Dull, dull, dull in a pretentious, florid and archly fatuous fashion” (New York Times)
Wuthering Heights by Emily Bronte: “There is not in the entire dramatis persona, a single character which is not utterly hateful or thoroughly contemptible.” (ATLAS, 1848)
Moby Dick by Herman Melville “... the book is sad stuff, dull and dreary, or ridiculous. Mr. Melville's Quakers are the wretchedest dolts and drivellers, and his Mad Captain ... is a monstrous bore.” (Charleston Southern Quarterly Review)
Leaves of Grass by Walt Whitman “... it is impossible to imagine how any man's fancy could have conceived such a mass of stupid filth, unless he were possessed of the soul of a sentimental donkey that had died of disappointed love.” (The Criterion)
O Pioneers by Willa Cather: “Miss Willa S. Cather in O Pioneers (O title!!) is neither a skilled storyteller nor the least bit of an artist.” (Vanity Fair)
Book Riot did a piece on imagining famous authors reading their one-star reviews on Jimmy Kimmel. Sounds like good therapy for the rest of us.
So now I feel a little better. But only a little. Here’s the thing: famous and successful authors have been vindicated by massive book sales, big prizes or elevation to “classic” status. But for us unknown authors—struggling to sell a few books—the public pillorying is a bit harder. Because what if they’re right? What if we really do suck? What if the one-stars are the only ones telling the truth?
Okay, time to get a grip.
Here’s some thoughtful advice from Scott Berkun:
So what if it’s bad? So what if no one likes it? So what if you read it and don’t like it yourself? So what so what so what so what. SO WHAT. At least you will have done it and can decide not to do it again.
For those who want to commiserate, there’s a wonderful site called Insecure Writers Support Group. Their mantra is “Let’s rock the neurotic world.” How perfect is that?
I asked a writer friend to give me a metaphor for a one-star reviewer. She said, “A one star reviewer is like someone who kicks a puppy after getting hissed at by a cat.”
So it’s really all about perspective.
A one-star review is not a knife in the heart. It’s more like a punch in a gut. It really hurts at first, so bad you can’t even breathe. But by the next morning, your stomach is merely sore. And you eventually recover and keep going. But you keep your gut covered, just in case.
Gina Detwiler’s latest book, Forever, the thrilling conclusion of the Forlorn series, will be released on April 1.
