HOW I STARTED WRITING ABOUT SPIRITUAL WARFARE:

MY PERSONAL BATTLE WITH DEMONS

Let me start at the beginning.

  After college, I went to Germany to work as a theatre specialist for the US Army. That opened up a whole new world for me, and I developed a fascination with warfare, both modern and medieval. It probably had something to do with all the castles they have over there.

 I’ve always loved medieval stories and have gobbled up everything Bernard Cornwell ever wrote. When I was looking for a subject to write about for my first novel, I came upon Charles Martel, the Leader of the Franks in the 8th Century who repelled a massive Arab invasion of Europe in a monumental battle that, to my knowledge, had been largely forgotten. Charles was not only a fascinating leader, but he was also a brilliant military innovator who developed the use of horses in warfare that became known as “Mounted Shock Combat”—the medieval version of Shock and Awe. I was hooked.

As my faith in Christ grew, I began to understand that not all battles are fought in the physical realm. There is an unseen war we are all fighting, whether or not we know it. A battle for our hearts, minds, and souls. This kind of battle soon became my focus. I read many accounts of demon possession, among them Hostage to the Devil, by Malachi Martin, Glimpses of the Devil and People of the Lie by M. Scott Peck, and Demonic Foes by the psychiatrist William Gallagher. I learned about the power of music on spiritual forces, which became a major theme of the Forlorn series. 

Then I had a personal experience with demonic oppression. I won’t go into a lot of detail here, but I will say that for a time, I felt extremely oppressed by something I couldn’t put my finger on. I sensed it was spiritual because it didn’t seem to have any external cause. I was depressed, sad, couldn’t get out of bed, and didn’t want to do anything with my life. 

One day after church, a member of the worship team came up to me and asked if I was okay. When I said I was, he said, “I just wondered because when you walked in the door, I saw a dark cloud surrounding you.”

That scared me. I wondered if all my research into the demonic world had given demons an opening into my spirit.

My church had a deliverance ministry called “Streams of Freedom,” based on the Wellsprings of Freedom curriculum developed by Tim Howard, author of The Jezebel Virus. I signed up at the urging of some dear friends in my small group. I was scared to death, not knowing what was going to happen.

I walked into a room with a team of six people: a leader, a couple of “discerners,” people with the gifting of discerning spirits who could see what spirits were oppressing me, and “intercessors” who would pray for me as we attempted to bind up the demons and cast them to the foot of the cross. The session took three hours. It started with singing worship songs and asking questions, but then it went into prayer and diving deep into my history and the source of the oppression. I have never cried so hard in my life. At one point, I felt like I couldn’t breathe, that I was being physically choked. I heard one discerner say, “It’s choking her.” That was a demon who called itself Pythos. If you’ve read Forlorn, the scene where Penny undergoes a sort of exorcism is almost exactly what happened to me that day.

For the whole week following that first session, I felt like the walking wounded. My skin actually felt raw, as if a layer had been torn off. There’s a scene in C.S. Lewis’ The Voyage of the Dawn Treader where Aslan the Lion tears the dragon skin off the boy Eustace, one layer at a time. It’s a painful process. That is how I felt that whole week. I could barely speak. I wanted to cry at the drop of a hat. My ribcage was still sore, between the crying and the choking. I wondered if that deliverance session had done any good.

I had to go back for a second session the following week. I wasn’t sure I could go through all that again. But the second session was completely different. By the end of it, I felt truly set free. I left that session feeling light as air, like I could fly. It was the most remarkable experience of my life. I am so grateful to the wonderful Streams of Freedom team for praying me through that experience. Yes, I had to reopen a lot of old wounds—many of them self-inflicted—in order to heal them properly. You can’t do a major renovation without tearing down walls and exposing the ugly underneath.

Ephesian 6:11 says, “Put on the full armor of God, so you can stand firm against the devil’s schemes.” This is true warfare. At some point in your life, the world ceases to be a playground and becomes a battleground. You should never go into battle without your spiritual armor, but the key is to put on your armor before the battle starts. Because once the arrows start flying, it’s too late. 

So stand with the belt of truth around your waist, justice as your breastplate, and put shoes on your feet so that you are ready to spread the good news of peace. Above all, carry the shield of faith so that you can extinguish the flaming arrows of the evil one. Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is God’s word. Offer prayers and petitions in the Spirit all the time. Stay alert by hanging in there and praying for all believers. Ephesians 6:14-18

When you are wrapped in Truth, shielded by Faith, standing tall in Righteousness, protected by Salvation, and walking in the Peace of Christ, there is no demon that stands a chance against you.

Oh, and don’t forget your sword.* 

*Not a real sword, though those can be pretty cool, but the “Sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.” (Eph 6:17). “Word” in this context is not “Logos” signifying the embodiment of God, but “Rhema” as in “breath, spirit.” Paul is referring to the preaching of the gospel, speaking the word, as when Jesus defeated Satan in the wilderness with the words of scripture. In the battle with Satan, the gospel of Christ is the only weapon we need.